Not enough jokes in this catagory!

by **[iS] Apollodarkblade** Tue May 07, 2013 3:59 pm

So here's just a handful of things i like.

How can you tell when your sister is on her period?
When your dad's dick taste like blood

convo i heard in a lobby
"hey man do you remember your first blowjob?"
"yeah it was awesome who could forget it?"
"oh yeah how'd it taste?"
"fuck you"

and the best joke of all my wife's cooking.

My wife: "well its not happening so you can get over it."
Me: "Hey did you hear they finished construction today."
My wife: "random...On what?"
Me: "On that bridge which is nice cause i'm over it."

My wife: "what do you think about when we have sex?"
Me: "anything but you and on that note i'll be on the couch thinking about what i did wrong."

My wife: "If you could have any one thing what would it be?"
Me: "A mute button that works."
My wife: "How do you know its broken the TV's off?"
Me: "Cause i've been pushing since you walked in the room and i can still hear you."

by **[iS] Wax** Wed May 08, 2013 3:42 am

The last one is maybe right on the line but it was kinda funny! Very Happy

I like the first one with the blowjob thing Very Happy

by **[iS] JohnnyyB** Wed May 08, 2013 7:03 pm

Lol, my friend showed me a text that his gf sent him about girl logic that was an entire paragrapgh, and here is one thing it said:

'If a girl says 2+2=5, then she's mother fucking right, and if you say that she's mother fucking right, then you'll get a blowjob.'

by **[iS] ill** Wed May 08, 2013 8:18 pm

girls are like linoleum lay them right the first time walk all over them for life

by **[iS] JohnnyyB** Wed May 08, 2013 8:21 pm

When we get home, im gonna treat you like my homework: slam you on the desk and do you all night.

by **[iS] ill** Wed May 08, 2013 8:56 pm

[iS] JohnnyyB wrote:When we get home, im gonna treat you like my homework: ignore till last moment possible then finish as fast as i can.

by **[iS] JohnnyyB** Thu May 09, 2013 11:38 pm

Lol, you know me so well ill

by [iS] SmartKid Fri May 10, 2013 6:14 pm

What did Arnold wtf ever his last name is, say when asked to upgrade to Windows 7? "I still love Vista, baby"

by **[iS] TSR** Fri May 10, 2013 7:02 pm

Schwarzenegger get it right!

by **[iS] samurai8juicebox** Sat May 11, 2013 8:47 pm

-What's the difference between your mom and a walrus?

One smells like stinky fish and has whiskers, while the other one is a walrus.

-A blonde and a brunette walk into a bar, the brunette ducks.

-Okay, so a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are being chased by the cops...they go to a farm, and see 3 brown sacks...they jump into them, and tighten them. The cops thought they went into the sacks, so they checked them. They punched the first one which had a redhead..she said Woof, Woof...they thought it was a dog. They punched the second one which had the brunette, she said meow, they thought it was a cat. Now, they punched the third one with the blonde in it, and she said potato.

by **[iS] JohnnyyB** Sun May 12, 2013 10:34 pm

What did one ocean say to the other?
- Nothing, they just waved.
Sea what i did there?
- I'm shore you did, so don't be such a beach.

Whats better than a dead baby in a trashcan?
- Two dead babies in a trashcan

How do you make a baby cry?
-Throw a brick at it

Why didn't Timmy ride his bike to school today?
- Because he got ran over by a truck and had to get his legs amputated.

Why did Sally fall off her swing?
- Because she had no arms
Knock knock
-Who's there?
Not Sally.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile?
- Robin, get in the Batmobile.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
- The Holocaust

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
- The horse replies, "My wife has terminal cancer"

Why can't a t-rex clap?
- Because it's dead.

Anti-jokes are just the best

by **[iS] TopDolla33** Sun May 12, 2013 10:58 pm

im the funniest nig ever.. i swear

by [iS] Xaufus Mon May 13, 2013 3:46 pm

[iS] JohnnyyB wrote:What did one ocean say to the other?
- Nothing, they just waved.
Sea what i did there?
- I'm shore you did, so don't be such a beach.

Whats better than a dead baby in a trashcan?
- Two dead babies in a trashcan

How do you make a baby cry?
-Throw a brick at it

Why didn't Timmy ride his bike to school today?
- Because he got ran over by a truck and had to get his legs amputated.

Why did Sally fall off her swing?
- Because she had no arms
Knock knock
-Who's there?
Not Sally.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile?
- Robin, get in the Batmobile.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
- The Holocaust

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
- The horse replies, "My wife has terminal cancer"

Why can't a t-rex clap?
- Because it's dead.

Anti-jokes are just the best